Crashing Around You
by Discarnate
Summary: Two lifelong wrestling fans are thrown into the Diva Search mix. Join them as they embark on an exciting new career and experience highs, lows, love, hate, betrayal and obsession - and that's just behind the scenes. MorrisonxOC JeffxOC.
1. Not What You'd Call Reality: Part 1

_**Author's Note: **__Hello, loyal readers! I am so sorry I haven't updated anything in absolute yonks. I had loads of my other fic, Til Death Do Us Part, written but it got eaten by a Virus of Doom that wiped my hard drive, and sadly real life got in the way and prevented me from re-writing what I'd lost. So unfortunately I've had to abandon that project, and instead have started another fic featuring everyone's favourite OCs, Kit and Elli (well, I'm rather fond of them anyway…). _

_This fic came about after putting my iTunes on shuffle, listing the songs that came up and trying to make a story out of them. I already have plenty written and I know how it's going to end, so there's very little chance that this one will get abandoned. And if I fall behind on the updates, feel free to poke me with sticks and lob heavy objects at my head. As always, kayfabe and reality have been subtly changed to fit my little delusional world. Rating may change in future chapters; a warning will be put up well in advance should this happen. Enjoy, my dears!  
_

_**Disclaimer**: The WWE, its Superstars, storylines and all associated content are the property of Vincent Kennedy McMahon. The events detailed in this fic are pure fiction and do not guarantee to represent the Superstars portrayed in this fic in a realistic or factual manner. I own Elli and Kit (although Kit might disagree), and no money is being made from this complete work of fiction._

_**Summary**: Two lifelong wrestling fans are thrown into the Diva Search mix. Join them as they embark on an exciting new career and experience highs, lows, love, hate, betrayal and obsession - and that's just behind the scenes.  
_

--

_"Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up! RAW's about to start!"_

_"Ow! There's still ten minutes to go! STOP SHOVING!" I laughed as my best friend, 'sister' and flatmate, Kit, tried to bully our other flatmate, Scotty, through the front door. Scotty automatically tried to block Kit from entering and, knowing what was about to happen, I jumped up from the sofa and ran out into the hall, grabbing the bags of Chinese takeaway from Scotty moments before Kit took a run-up and Speared Scotty through the door._

_"I'll sort the dinner out, then, shall I?" I said as the two continued to grapple in the hall, Scotty yelling out as Kit bashed his head against the phone table. There was no response so I just shrugged and walked into the kitchen to set the dinner out onto plates._

_"You'll miss RAW if you don't hurry up," I called. There was a squeak from the hall, another anguished yell from Scotty, and moments later Scotty appeared in the kitchen, rubbing his head._

_"Your sister's vicious," he grumbled as he snaffled his plate._

_"You shouldn't antagonise her. You should know that by now, Scotty," I laughed, grabbing some forks and placing them on the other two plates. I moved out into the living room, handed Kit her plate, and settled down to watch Monday Night RAW._

_Kit and I had known each other for the best part of a decade, having met on an internet message board when we were young. We had developed a close bond over the years, so close that after my parents passed away I moved from England to Ohio to be with her. Shortly after that, we moved to Florida and applied to every wrestling school we could think of, working whatever odd jobs we could take in order to raise the funds for the admission fees. After a year the Xtreme Hardcore Federation agreed to take us on, which was where we met Scotty. The three of us got on so well that we decided to get a flat together. Two years later, Scotty was the Cruiserweight Champion and Kit and I were feuding for the Women's Championship, and we were beginning to dream of breaking through into the big leagues and signing for TNA or, God forbid, the WWE._

_The show started. Kit and I booed as Mr Kennedy kicked off the show, and laughed as John Cena interrupted and verbally owned the Green Bay loudmouth. King Booker, Randy Orton and Bobby Lashley also showed up, bitching about who should be the Number One Contender, before William Regal came out and set a Beat the Clock Challenge for the Number One Contendership._

_After that, a commercial aired seeking contestants for this year's Diva Search. Kit and I both scoffed loudly and threw cushions at the TV. Although in the past the Diva Search had unearthed some amazing talent, there was still an awful lot of dross connected with it and it was considered by many to be the least reputable way of joining the company._

_"You know, I reckon you two should enter," Scotty said. "No, no, I'm serious," he added as Kit and I turned to stare at him. "We all know you can wrestle and, even though I hate to say it, you're not exactly hideous Gorgons, either," he teased._

_"You're mental," I laughed._

_"I'm serious. If you get in - and I'm sure you will - it could be your chance to bring a bit of respect back to the Diva Search."_

_"I'm with Elli. You're mental. I want to be a wrestler, not a vacuous piece of eye candy," scoffed Kit. "Now shush. Jeff's on," she added as Jeff Hardy's music hit._

_"Come on! If you get in, you get into the big leagues, if not, it'll be a laugh - it's win-win!" said Scotty enthusiastically. "Go on, I've been dying for an excuse to use the camcorder I've got for my birthday." Kit dragged her gaze away from the screen to glare briefly at him._

_"If I say yes will you shut up and let me watch Jeff?"_

_"Yes," said Scott, grinning triumphantly._

_"Okay. But only if Elli does it too."_

_"Hey, leave me out of it!" I protested. Scotty had a habit of nagging everyone to death until he got his way, and I was hoping that now he'd got Kit to agree to it he would shut up about it. No such luck._

_"Go on, Ells! It'll be awesome!" Scotty pressed. "Just think of all the…"_

_"GUYS! Jeff!" roared Kit, throwing her now-empty Chinese cartons at us. I batted the one aimed at me away and folded my arms, glaring at Scotty._

_"Fine. But this doesn't mean you win," I muttered, settling back on the sofa to cheer on Jeff against Orton._

--

That was nearly four months ago and now, there were four of us left. I was amazed that Kit and I had made it into the competition, let alone that we had managed to get this far. And it turned out that this year, they were actually looking for women who could wrestle; whenever we weren't filming segments for TV or or popping up on the different WWE brands, we were training hard at the developmental territory in Florida. It was completely the polar opposite of everything I had expected it to be. And it was hard, too; I'd thought, being somewhat used to wrestling, that it would just be a case of 'turn up, go through the motions and see if they like you'. I was wrong. They were pushing us so hard that I was sure my back would permanently be black and blue, and two girls actually quit after the first week.

As much as the WWE were trying to instil some legitimacy into the Diva Search, however, they couldn't completely ignore the eye candy part of it, which was why Kit and I were attempting to cover ourselves with about four square inches of material between us.

"How the hell am I going to get my boobs into this?" demanded Kit, holding up a piece of sparkly green string masquerading as a bikini tip.

"I don't think you're supposed to," I muttered, trying to adjust my blood red, holographic bikini top so that at least I wouldn't be flashing my nipples. "I give up. Where's the sticky tape?"

"Here." One of the other contestants, Monique, threw me the roll of tape. I caught it and spent several minutes trying to get my breasts under control. Monique and I didn't have much to do with each other, but she disliked Kit and had done from day one, for no reason that we could discern other than the fact that Kit was better at wrestling than her. But then that wasn't hard; Monique seemed to exist to simper, pout and flirt with as many men as possible. She had only survived the public vote so far because she was really pretty and wasn't averse to the odd wardrobe malfunction.

The other contestant, Carla, came into our locker room, sneered at everyone, and proceeded to get changed. Kit and I absolutely loathed Carla; she was convinced she was the best female wrestler ever, and that we weren't even good enough to breathe the same air as her. The fact that both Kit and I had beaten her in training matches had done nothing to knock her fierce conviction that she was going to be the next WWE Women's Champion. She had long, naturally blonde hair that fell down to her bottom, and had the most blatantly obvious surgically enhanced body in the world. She was beautiful, but it was completely artificial; without her makeup, she was just another plain face in the crowd. It took her at least two hours in the morning just to do her makeup.

"Here you go," I said to Kit, chucking her the tit tape. I sighed as I looked at the incredibly tiny miniskirt that was part of my outfit; it was little more than a glorified belt, consisting of a red satin waistband and about three inches of holographic red material. I was absolutely convinced that it was far too tiny to fit; miraculously, it did, and I completed the outfit with red thigh-high fishnet stockings, red elbow-length fishnet gloves, red ballet flats and knee-high red fluffy legwarmers. I looked more like I was going out to a nightclub than heading out to a wrestling ring.

I sighed again and moved over to the huge mirror that took up half the wall of the locker room in order to do my hair and makeup. Unlike Monique and Carla, who preferred to use the WWE's makeup staff, I preferred to do my own makeup. I knew what I liked on me and didn't trust anyone else to get it right.

"Excuse me, I need the mirror." I ignored Carla as I finished putting my long, dark brown hair into high bunches and started rooting through my makeup bag for my eyeliner. "Are you deaf? I said I need the mirror, now move!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise your head was so big that you needed the entire mirror," Kit and I said at the same time, and burst out laughing.

"Freaks," muttered Carla as she moved closer to the mirror. She shoved me out of the way just as I was about to apply my eyeliner, leaving a nice black streak across my face. I tutted and glared at her before reaching for the makeup remover.

"I still can't understand why you can't share the mirror," I said, taking a step back as she was brandishing some rather hot straightening irons.

"Because I don't need your ugly face clogging it up while I'm making myself beautiful," she replied.

"Oh, and we're back to the 'ugly' retort. How original," I scoffed, turning away from the mirror. I decided it would be best not to argue with someone who could easily cause me first-degree burns and removed the small compact mirror from my makeup bag instead.

"Do I look like a whore?" asked Kit. I looked up from my makeup to check her out; her outfit was similar to mine but dark green instead of red, and wearing knee-high boots instead of fluffies. Her long, naturally highlighted brown hair was loose with just the front bits clipped back from her face.

"Doesn't everyone in this room?" I countered with a smile. "You look hot. I'd so do you."

"Yeah, but you're a brazen hussy with no shame," she said with a grin. There was a loud knock at the door and she went to answer it.

"I am not! Well, maybe a little bit," I amended after a second's thought. Kit snorted and opened the door.

"I found them!" We stood there in shock and surprise as John Cena, Randy Orton, Jeff Hardy and Ken Kennedy trooped in. John hugged Kit and then came up to me and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug too. We'd met most of the roster at the Unforgiven Pay-Per-View a few weeks ago, and there were a few who were absolutely lovely and had taken to us immediately. Shawn Michaels had been especially taken with Kit; she was a huge fan of his, and he had been delighted to discover that he had a 'Super-fan'. Kit and I got on well with both Hardy brothers and their Core Group, too, and Ken seemed to have taken a shine to me, as he always seemed to be lurking wherever we were. And as the current WWE Champion and Number One Contender, Randy and John had taken it upon themselves to make us their business.

There were a few Superstars who were less than welcoming, however, and Kit had won a verbal spat with Melina while I had physically prevented Jillian Hall from singing. It was after those incidents that we seemed to have been accepted by most of the roster, and the way John kept talking it was as if we'd already won the contracts.

"You didn't find them on your own. We helped," said Randy sullenly.

"Yeah, you had me looking in broom cupboards, Orton," said John, playfully shoving his best friend.

"So, girls, how are you doing?" asked Jeff, as Randy and John started to squabble loudly and get in everyone's way.

"Apart from the fact that I wear more than this to the beach? Great," replied Kit. Jeff grinned, cocking his head to one side as he looked her up and down.

"I think you look good," he said. Kit allowed a small smile to cross her face, and then she looked up at me and elbowed me in the side.

"And you can wipe that look off your face," she said.

"What look?" I replied, rubbing my ribs.

"You know what look." She sent me a pointed look that just caused me to laugh. Kit and Jeff had been subtly flirting since the moment they'd met - lots of secret smiles and stolen glances - and it was clear to everyone present that there was instant chemistry there.

"Hey, Elli, my brother and Shane were asking after you," said Jeff after a few minutes of awkward silence, only filled with the increasingly familiar strains of John and Randy bickering. "They say you've got to get your ass to Smackdown and say hi."

"Really?" I said, feeling extremely pleased. Matt Hardy and Shane Helms were incredible sweethearts and probably the two I'd bonded best with out of the Superstars we'd met. "Well, provided I'm still in the competition after tonight there's a one in three chance of me going to Smackdown for the final week."

"I have a feeling you'll be okay, both of you," said Jeff with a broad grin. "Don't forget, we have access to the internet too. Shawn's been voting as fast as the refresh button will let him."

"Aww, sweet!" laughed Kit. "I can just see it. I'll get a contract, get drafted to RAW, and he'll be in my shadow, following me everywhere I go like a cute puppy version of a stalker."

"You say that like it's a bad thing!" came a new voice from the doorway and Shawn Michaels stepped in, looking pleased with himself. He went over to John and slapped his shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming new Diva-hunting?" he demanded with a pout.

"Hey, man, you were busy plotting with Hunter," John protested. "You managed to find your way here anyway," he pointed out.

"Yeah. Because I always know where my princess is," Shawn replied, moving over to Kit and wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"Yeah, because that's not creepy at all," laughed Kit, pushing him away. "Go over there. I need to do my makeup."

"Ooh, I can do it for you!" said Shawn excitedly. Kit gave him a cautious look and took a step back.

"I think that may be a bad idea," she said slowly.

"Trust me. Do you trust me?" he asked.

"No," Kit replied.

"Tough!" Shawn took the makeup bag from her, steered her over to a chair and sat her down. Kit sent me a pleading look but I ignored it in favour of joining the guys in ganging up on Randy.

"There. See? I didn't do a bad job, did I?" Shawn announced five minutes later. Kit actually looked pretty good. She had dark mascara that accented her eyes, sparkly green eyeshadow that complimented her outfit, and Shawn had brushed some green glitter on her cheeks.

"You know, if you weren't married I'd swear you were gay," teased Ken.

"I'm my wife's bitch," Shawn admitted, hanging his head.

"Okay, ladies, sorry to love you and leave you but we've got to go and get the show started," announced Randy, looking incredibly sulky due to the fact that John had just been questioning his manhood.

"Good luck out there tonight," said Jeff, giving me a hug and giving Kit a kiss on the cheek. "Not that you'll need it, I'm sure," he added, his eyes sparkling.

"Go out there and knock them dead, super fan!" said Shawn, giving Kit a huge hug. "And if you win it'll all be thanks to me!" he said, looking incredibly smug.

"Yeah, you're not bigheaded at all, are you, dear?" I laughed. Shawn just grinned and waved as he walked out of the door, the other Superstars following suit, calling out their own goodbyes.

"I see how it is," said Carla coldly as the locker room fell quiet again. "Which ones are you sleeping with?"

"Aw, is someone bitter that she doesn't have the necessary social skills required to make friends?" said Kit in mock sympathy.

"I just know that when I win this competition it'll be down to my own talent, not because I'm sucking off the WWE Champion," Carla retorted, flicking her hair behind her shoulders. Kit and I just shared a look and laughed; John was lovely, but there was no conceivable way we could ever imagine him in a sexual setting.

"You know, if you would only deign to clamber down from that pedestal you've put yourself on, you might make some friends in this company too," said Kit. "And if you need any help getting down, I'll be only too happy to help."

"Whatever. I'm not going to get into a war of words with trash like you," Carla sneered. A stagehand appeared at the door and informed us that the show would be starting in five minutes, and that we were going to be kicking it off. Carla applied a coat of lip gloss, smacked her lips loudly and sauntered out of the locker room, Monique following close behind.

"Oh, I'm so looking forward to our training match tomorrow," said Kit darkly, glaring at the space where the blonde used to be.

"Yeah, she definitely needs taking down a peg or two. Or three, or four, or five," I agreed, wrapping my arm around her shoulders. "Ready to go and flaunt yourself to millions?"

"No," she replied. "You?"

"Not in the slightest. Let's go," I said cheerfully, strolling out of the locker room and trying to ignore the nervous feeling that had settled in the pit of my stomach and was building by the second. _Let's just get this over with and then I can get into something normal_, I thought as we headed to the gorilla.


	2. Not What You'd Call Reality: Part 2

_**Author's Note: **__Thanks to JeffxMaria, jojocheer28 and Hayley Jean for their reviews! I'm glad you like the story. I'm having a lot of fun writing it, and the fact that you enjoy it just gives me a reason to keep on writing. _

_Here's the second chapter. Love it? Hate it? Use that review button and tell me what you think! _

_Normal disclaimers apply._

_--_

_Smile, try not to look like you're grimacing_… I hitched a smile to my face and played up to the crowd as Miz, who was hosting the Diva Search, made us parade around the ring. He then announced each of us in turn and judged us against the crowd's reaction; the one who got the biggest pop was granted immunity from this evening's elimination. It was so shallow, yet, sadly, had to be done… I put a little wiggle to my walk as Miz called out my name and used the ring ropes to twist my body into a variety of seductive poses. I blew a kiss to the crowd, turned my back to them and did a little shimmy before walking back to my place next to Kit in the middle of the ring.

"Hussy," Kit muttered with a grin.

"You love me for it and you know you do," I replied. Kit's name was called and she sashayed over to the ropes, threw the devil horns and then bent over backwards slowly into a crab, turning it into a slow backflip into the splits. I envied Kit her flexibility; I wasn't too bad but she could bend her body in ways that would make a contortionist weep, which was one of the main causes of the unsolicited male attention that she got.

"Showoff," I muttered as she walked back to me. She just grinned and waved at a fan in the audience who was screaming her name. I zoned out as Carla and Monique strutted their stuff, not really wanting to see their self-indulgent posing. Instead I busied myself reading the signs in the crowd I could see; there were a couple that were derogatory towards the Diva Search that made me smile.

"And the winner of the swimsuit round is… Elli!" The announcement jolted me back to reality and I stared at Miz in shock before remembering where I was and playing up to the crowd again, blowing kisses and smiling like a good little girl and wishing that Miz would just hurry up and get us the fuck out of there. "Elli receives immunity from the vote tonight; you can vote for your favourite Diva Search contestant at and the one with the fewest votes received will be eliminated. We'll be back right before the Main Event to reveal who's going home tonight." With that Miz held the ring ropes open for us and we trooped wearily backstage.

"I can't believe I won," I said to Kit once we were safely backstage and away from the cameras. "I would have thought Carla was more to the WWE fans' taste."

"I think it was more down to who was to Miz's taste. He was checking out your ass the entire time you were up there," he replied and I grimaced. While there were certainly a few lads on the roster who were to my liking, Miz was definitely not one of them. I opened my mouth to reply but was interrupted by a self-indulgent sounding voice booming out from behind us.

"Ladies! This is a lovely surprise!"

"Oh dear god…" Kit groaned as Chris Masters oozed down the hallway. She fought to repress a shudder as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She brushed it off with the air of someone having to handle dog dirt - which she would probably rather be doing.

"Do you mind? I just had a shower," said Kit, taking a step back. Masters gave a high, false laugh.

"You know," he said, closing the distance between them, "I'd think that someone in your position would appreciate some help from someone backstage…"

"She's got it." Masters jumped back from Kit as Shawn and Hunter rounded the corner. Shawn put his arms around Kit and pulled her close to him.

"You okay, Princess?" he asked as Hunter walked right up to Masters, who was visibly cowering.

"I am now," said Kit happily. Hunter glared at Masters and slowly closed the space them until Masters was backed against the wall and they were standing nose-to-nose.

"I'll, uh, just… go, shall I?" said Masters in a very small voice. He slowly started to edge his way out; Hunter lunged forward and growled and Masters yelped and hared off down the hallway. Hunter grinned a self-satisfied grin and turned to Kit.

"You get any problems with him, you tell me, I'll sort it out," he said.

"Thanks, Hunter," said Kit with a grin. Hunter preened and flexed his muscles.

"I am Hunter, defender of new Divas!" he proclaimed as Randy strolled around the corner, the WWE Title casually slung over his arm.

"Is that so? Well the defender is going to be late for our match if he doesn't hurry up. Great show out there, ladies," he added, smirking at us. "Kit, may I just say you have an incredibly nice…"

"Hey!" Hunter smacked his shoulder. "Not the Princess," he said in a low, dangerous voice.

"Yeah, whatever. Come on. The 'Princess' will be fine with your boyfriend," said Randy, making sarcastic quotation marks.

"See? You're going to love having me around. I'll be your Lord Protector for life," said Hunter, flashing Kit a final grin as he wandered off after Randy.

"Why do I get a sudden sense of gloom and foreboding?" she asked worriedly.

"Because Hunter's going to be insanely protective of you and you're never going to have sex ever again?" I suggested with a grin. Shawn giggled, hand covering his mouth.

"You said sex!" he said, affecting a look of child-like shock and glee. He cleared his throat, his expression suddenly becoming serious. "That's not something you do, ever. And that goes for you too," he added, shaking a stern finger in my direction.

"Meh, you haven't adopted me, you've got no control over me," I said, sticking my tongue out at him.

"I'm sure I can find someone to protect your honour. Wait there," said Shawn, taking off in the direction of the men's locker room.

"What honour? I don't have any!" I called after him, but he either didn't hear or was ignoring me. Kit and I exchanged exasperated looks.

"What have we done to deserve this?" Kit asked.

"I don't know, but I suggest hiding before he comes back," I said, grabbing her hand and leading her in the opposite direction.

We found a deserted locker room; it was obviously in use as there were a couple of gym bags on the side, their belongings haphazardly tossed around the room, but the occupant was nowhere to be seen. I wandered over to one of the bags and peered in, trying to figure out who it belonged to.

"Who do you reckon this belongs to?" I asked.

"Jeff," replied Kit in a small, tight voice. I turned around to notice Jeff wandering out of the shower room, clad in nothing but a towel and using a second towel to dry his hair. His body was glistening with water and Kit went very still and poker-faced; if this had been a cartoon she would have had hearts in her eyes. Jeff noticed us and flashed us a brilliant grin.

"Hey, it's my two favourite Diva Search contestants!" he said in that lazy North Carolinian drawl.

"Two favourite?" asked Kit, jolted back into life by his comment. "I thought I was your only favourite?" she asked, playfully slapping his shoulder.

"Well my brother got quite attached to your sister, so she becomes a favourite by default," said Jeff, his eyes twinkling. "You're still my best girl though. I wouldn't vote for any other Diva Search girl."

"I should think so too. They all suck."

"Hey!" I pouted, folding my arms. Jeff laughed and moved to his bag, removing his in-ring gear. "You ladies don't mind?" he asked as he turned to the wall and removed the towel.

Kit made a noise that sounded like "Gngh!" at the sight of his bare bottom. She stared, wide-eyed, at his derriere before hurriedly covering her eyes, grabbing my arm and making for the door.

"Sorry Jeff I forgot we've got a… a thing see you later!" she babbled as she physically pulled me out of the locker room and slammed the door behind us. She collapsed against the wall, taking deep breaths and looking very shell-shocked. I burst out laughing.

"Smooth, Kit, real smooth, he won't suspect a thing!" I giggled.

"Oh, shut up!" she snapped, and shook her head. "Jeff… ass… naked ass…"

"Shame you got out of there. He might have turned around and given you full view of his hot, throbbing…"

"LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" yelled Kit, clamping her hands over her ears. She continued singing loudly to drown me out all the way back to our own locker room. Carla gave us a nasty look but we ignored her as Kit sank down into a chair and I jumped up onto a low cupboard at the side of the room. Kit cautiously removed her hands from her ears.

"Man-meat," I finished. Kit shot me a glare, picked up a cushion and threw it at me. I caught it and propped it behind my head with a grin.

"I hate you," she moaned.

"Love you too." I blew her a kiss and she huffed and turned her back on me.

It was a long night. It felt even longer due to the fact that we were wearing next to nothing and that every time we even dared to venture out of the locker room we ran into a Superstar or two who would leer and make inappropriate comments, Masters, Lance Cade and Snitsky being the most persistent offenders. We decided in the end to remain in the locker room and see who Shawn had managed to rustle up as my chaperone.

Shawn returned to the locker room soon after, triumphantly announcing that he had found me not one, but two guardians, and introduced Paul London and Brian Kendrick.

"They're perfect! Okay so they're not the biggest guys on the roster, but I wouldn't trust you with Orton and these two can be quite vicious when they have to be," said Shawn happily.

"Hi girls!" said Brian and Paul together, flashing identical grins as they sat down next to me and Kit. Carla and Monique immediately started giggling and talking about their best assets. Brian rolled his eyes and tutted.

"They're wasting their time," he muttered. Paul ignored them and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"So you're the lady that needs looking after, hey?" he asked brightly, looking me over with a critical eye. "I don't see why. You look all sweet and innocent."

"Don't be fooled, the innocent looking ones are always the worst ones," said Shawn darkly. "Now I've got a match to get to. Be good, you lot!" He gave us a stern look for a second, grinned and left the locker room. Brian and Paul waited a good few seconds until they were sure he was gone and then burst out laughing.

"I think Shawn's going senile in his old age. He expects -us- to keep you out of trouble?" laughed Brian.

"We -cause- trouble," said Paul proudly. "We're like the Weasley twins of the WWE."

"Only we're prettier. And not ginger. And, you know, not magical."

"So, let's see what sort of trouble we can get you into!" He and Paul immediately put their heads together to start plotting.

"I like them, can we keep them?" I giggled to Kit.

"I get Brian, you can have Paul," she replied immediately with a grin.

"What?" Brian looked up, a look of confusion crossing his face. "Paul, I think we just got claimed."

"Yay!" Paul hugged me again. "I like getting claimed, it makes me feel special. And you won't mind when I do this." He undid the knot on my bikini top and I had to hurriedly clasp it to my chest to stop it from falling away.

"Hey! What the hell?" I demanded, crossing my arms protectively over my bosom. "Do me back up!"

"Nuh-uh, not me, you have to get out there and find someone to help you," he replied with a wicked grin.

"Oh, no. No way. Kit, help me out here!" I begged as Paul dragged me to my feet and over to the door.

"You're on your own, chick!" she laughed as Paul shoved me out of the doorway and slammed the door shut behind me. I tried opening the door again but evidently someone was holding it shut.

"Paul!" I yelled, giving the door a kick. "Let me in!" My only response was an outbreak of giggling and I swore and kicked the door again.

"Having trouble there, miss?" I jumped at the voice behind me and gaped at John Morrison, who was leaning against the wall with a smirk on his face. What he was doing backstage at RAW, I didn't quite know.

"Yeah, my friends are evil," I replied, turning a fierce glare at the door. The utter sods! I glanced down at my chest, acutely aware that if I wasn't careful I'd be giving Morrison a good eyeful and shifted my arms in an attempt to cover myself a bit more. "You couldn't lend us a hand, could you?" I asked, feeling more than a little uncomfortable. Morrison laughed; clearly he was enjoying this a lot more than I was!

"Sure." He re-tied my bikini top and I squirmed as his fingers tickled the sensitive skin on my back. God, this was embarrassing! I was going to kill Paul! He swore softly as he fumbled with the straps. "Stop fidgeting," he ordered.

"Sorry. It tickles," I responded, screwing my face up with the effort of not moving as his fingers once again brushed my back. He seemed to be taking forever just to tie a couple of straps together and I wished he'd hurry up, this was awkward enough and I wanted to get back to the safety of the locker room and get my revenge on Paul.

"There, done," he announced, slapping me lightly on the back. "Is that tight enough?"

"Yeah, it's fine," I replied, adjusting myself so that I was as covered as possible and turned back to face him. "Thanks for your help."

"No problem. If you need help with anything else, let me know." He winked at me and I felt myself blush a little. I flashed him an awkward smile and banged on the door again.

"Hey man, are you making a move on one of my girls?" Morrison and I both turned to face Miz as he sauntered down the hallway.

"Hey, just lending a helping hand, man. You all set for tonight?"

"Sure, just let me get this done and I'll be with you. You okay, Elli?" Miz grinned at me and knocked on the door, calling for the other girls. The door opened and Brian and Paul rushed out and hared down the hallway.

"Don't think you're getting away with this, London!" I yelled after him; my only response was a burst of laughter as they disappeared from view.

"Ready, girls?" asked Miz, draping his arms around mine and Monique's shoulders. "Five minutes, man," he said to Morrison.

"Sure, I'll wait here. Good luck, ladies," said Morrison with a grin as Miz ushered us to the gorilla position.

I wasn't feeling too nervous as we stepped out from behind the curtain, after all I couldn't be voted out tonight, but Kit could and I kept my fingers crossed for her as we entered the ring. We posed for the crowd before Miz grabbed the mic and started going on about how great we all looked and how it was a shame that one of us would be going home today.

"And the lady going home tonight is…" Miz paused for dramatic effect. _Hurry up and get on with it, you great prat_, I thought impatiently. "Monique." I exhaled, uncrossed my fingers and flashed Kit a smile as Miz attempted to console/flirt with Monique. She was certainly milking it, too; it was disgusting. I couldn't see Miz in a sexual situation at all. It was on a par with Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day.

When she was gone, Miz ran down the plan for the next week. We were each going to be assigned to a brand to see if we could win some hearts, appear on the brand's show next week, and then regroup at Cyber Sunday where the winner would be announced. Miz then produced from his pocket a bag which contained three strips of paper. The name of each brand was written on a piece of paper and the one we drew out was the one where we would be spending the remainder of our time until Cyber Sunday.

Miz offered the bag to me first. I closed my eyes, plunged my hand into the bag and drew out a slip. I opened my eyes and was surprised and pleased to see that I had drawn Smackdown. Great; now I could spend time with Matt and Shane! Kit went next, and she drew RAW.

"Shawn will be happy," I remarked as Carla, looking incredibly sour, drew out ECW.

"Yeah, I'm never going to be allowed to go anywhere without Shawn and Hunter ever again, am I?" Kit laughed as we headed out of the ring and backstage.

"Yay! You got RAW!" Kit was greeted by the excitable hurricane that was Shawn the moment the cameras were off. His grin was so broad it was threatening to slice his head in two. "Party, hotel, now!" he ordered.

"Can't we get into some normal clothes first?" asked Kit.

"And there's the Main Event, John against Jeff, can we watch that? Pleeeease?" I asked, feeling like a child asking my dad for permission to stay up.

"All right," Shawn conceded, the grin on his face only fading slightly. "Party, hotel, half an hour. Don't be late!"


	3. Not What You'd Call Reality: Part 3

_**Author's note**: Thanks to Ella and Spunky-hyper-girl for reviewing! Your comments give me the drive I need to write more. I'm glad you like my little story and hope you like this chapter. Sorry it took a while to get out; I must have rewritten it ten times and am still not 100 per cent happy with it, but sod it. I refuse to tinker with it any more. Like it? Hate it? Want to make any suggestions? Leave me a review and let me know! x_

_Usual disclaimers apply._

* * *

I was woken the next morning at the ungodly hour of ten a.m. by a ferocious banging on my hotel room door. I peered muzzily at my watch, murmured 'sod off' and buried my head under my pillow. My head felt as though it was full of feathers, and there was a slight pain building just behind my left eye. One thing to remember about wrestlers - they certainly liked their drink, and lots of it.

I tried to remember what had happened the previous evening. Hunter, Shawn, John, Randy, Jeff, Brian, Paul, Mickie and Candice had all gathered in John and Randy's room. There was stripping (John), poker (combined with the stripping), and John and Randy proceeding to trash the hotel room by bickering and settling their differences by grappling with each other. Kit had said something about sexual tension, but I couldn't remember if she'd succeeded in getting them to kiss or not. Things were getting a little fuzzy by that point as I had downed the best part of a litre bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Shut that bloody noise up!" Kit grumbled from the next bed. I groaned, slithered out of bed, and staggered over to the door, trying to remember what we had scheduled for the day. I was almost positive that we didn't have anywhere to be, at least this early, and I wished death upon the unspeakable person who had disturbed my slumber.

"Hey!" I winced as Shane's cheerful tone stabbed straight through my head. "You got Smackdown! That's awesome!"

"Not so loud! How dare you be cheerful this early?" I grumbled. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I'm here to take you to Smackdown," Shane said cheerfully. I could only blink stupidly at him.  
"Wha…" I was too tired and too hungover to even begin to comprehend what he said. "But… I thought that was next week?"

"Yeah, you're going to be on next week's -show-, but you're supposed to be travelling with us until then," he pointed out. "Anyway, Fit wants to take you through your paces. Come on, I got up super early to drive over here and collect your ass, you've got ten minutes to get dressed. I'll help you get packed up," Shane added, pushing past me into the room. He strode over to the window and yanked the curtains back, flooding the room with brilliant sunlight. I hissed and covered my eyes. Kit stirred and threw a pillow at him. "Good morning, Kitten!" he sang.

"Bugger off, Shane!" was her murmured response.

"Right. You two aren't morning people. Must remember that," said Shane happily as he grabbed my bag and started packing everything that was around my bed. I hurriedly grabbed a change of underwear and some clothes before they could get packed and headed into the bathroom to get dressed and freshen up a bit.

"I've finished packing. Are you done?" demanded Shane, banging on the door five minutes later, making me jump as I was seriously on the verge of falling asleep at the bathroom sink.

"I'm awake!" I said hurriedly, trying not to sound guilty, and sighed as I finished doing my make-up. It really was too early in the morning for this sort of nonsense. I stuffed my make-up back into my wash bag and threw it at Shane as I walked out of the bathroom. He grinned and handed me the jewellery that had been on the bedside. I put it on, grabbed my handbag, made sure I had everything, and turned to Kit.

"I'll call you later, sweetie," I said.

"Mmmmf!" was my only reply. I snorted and followed Shane out of the door. We headed to the parking lot where he stowed my bag and case in the boot of his car, then he took my arm and led me out onto the street. I hissed at the bright sunlight and shielded my eyes.

"So tell me why you decided to come and get me so early?" I asked, trying and failing to stifle a yawn. "Smackdown's only across town and doesn't the taping start at 7.30?"

"Don't you ever listen to me? Finlay wants to go through some things with you," Shane explained with a roll of his eyes. "Besides, I thought we could have breakfast together and catch up on some gossip. I haven't seen you since Unforgiven," he added with a pout.

"Well, you have my number; you could have sent me a text!" I pointed out. "Besides, I've been busy with the training and stuff."

"And parading around in tiny, tiny clothes that don't really fit you?" Shane asked with a cheeky grin. I groaned and hanged my head in shame.

"I hate the Diva Search. Every time I'll even begin to have a hope of being taken seriously, pictures of me in that bikini will be flaunted, won't they?" I said with a groan. "And that's if I win!"

"Don't hate on the Diva Search. It got you into the company, didn't it?" asked Shane.

"Possibly."

"No possibly about it. Even if you don't win, Matt, Jeff and I think that both you and Kit will be signed up. You two have got a big backstage following, and it doesn't hurt that the two most powerful men in the company bar Vince are on your side. And Shawn and Hunter," he added with a cheeky grin. "They're on your sister's side, so therefore your side by default."

"Yeah, sorry Shane but I don't think you're quite one of the most powerful men in the company," I said with a snort.

"What are you talking about?" asked Shane, with a pout. "Of course I am. I -am- the longest-reigning Cruiserweight champ of all time, you know!"

"You've also been injured for, like, ever," I pointed out. He scowled and shoved me in the side.

"We don't talk about that. Anyway, I'm back now!" he said sulkily.

"Yeah, and you're not Cruiserweight champ any more," I teased, shoving him back. "And unlikely to be, considering nothing's been done with the belt since it was taken off Hornswoggle."

"Yeah, but I've only just come back. There was obviously nobody worthy of holding the belt in my absence," he said cockily, popping his collar before ushering me through the door of the nearest cafe. "I'm sure Vickie will see sense and give it back to me. I want a full ceremony and everything. Red carpet to the ring, fireworks, the belt carried to me on a silver platter by a bunch of nubile young ladies... it'll be awesome."

"Yeah, I don't think you're that important, love," I giggled.

"Of course I am! I be awesome. Bow before my awesomeness!"

"No, I'm good, thanks."

"You're no fun!"

We bickered all the way through breakfast and on the car trip to the hotel where the Smackdown stars were staying. The great thing about Shane was that he was inventive with his insults and gave as good as he got. Somehow, don't ask me how, it degenerated into a game of "Who would you rather sleep with out of...", a game that he, Matt and I had spent almost an hour playing at Unforgiven.

"Michael Moore or George W Bush?"

"No contest! Michael Moore. Roseanne Barr or Jo Brand?"

"Jo Brand on the basis that I've never heard of her and so she's probably British and therefore awesome. Donald Trump or Vince McMahon?"

"Ew!" I screwed up my face and tried not to laugh hysterically. "Donald Trump's better looking but Vince has the power to fire me, so him. Vickie Guerrero or Mae Young?"

"Old or young Mae?"

"Old."

"Hmm… still Mae Young. Vickie... eeeurgh." He shuddered and I laughed. "Okay, we're here. I don't know if the powers that be have booked you a room here already, but if not I'm sure Matt won't mind you rooming with us tonight." He let us into the hotel room and swore as he almost fell over a holdall bag that had been casually dumped by the door. The various contents of the bag were strewn across the floor and Shane muttered under his breath as he gathered them up and shoved them haphazardly into the bag. I laughed, threw my own bag on the nearest bed and collapsed beside it.

"Matt needs a maid to follow him around, I swear," muttered Shane as he balled up the last pair of socks and lobbed it into the bag.

"Mmm," I murmured vaguely in assent; I had felt sleepy again the moment I'd lain down. "What time do I have to meet Finlay?" I asked around a yawn.

"About two, he said, he's got some training with Torrie and Michelle first. So you've got a couple of hours yet. But you can't sleep, you've got to keep me company while Matt spends several million years in the shower," Shane added hurriedly as I grabbed a pillow and snuggled into it.

"But I'm sleepy. Blame John and Randy, they were force-feeding me JD last night."

"I doubt you needed much forcing, precious." I rolled onto my side and looked up as Matt Hardy emerged, fresh from the shower, dripping wet and totally naked. Automatically my gaze was winched downwards. Well, that was certainly impressive! I hurriedly snapped my gaze back to Matt's face and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Do you always walk out of the bathroom completely naked, regardless of who might be in the room?" I asked, struggling to keep my face neutral; the urge to giggle and/or stare at his crotch was almost overwhelming.

"Yeah, he always does, I don't know why. Who'd want to see that ugly fucker naked?" Shane said. Matt rolled his eyes and flicked him with the towel. Shane shrieked and sat bolt upright, an offended look on his face. "How dare you?"

"You know, that's way too much gay for this time in the morning," I laughed as Matt flicked Shane with the towel again for good measure and then proceeded to dry his hair, making no attempt to cover up. "Jesus, Matt, put some pants on, will you?"

"Why, don't you like what you see?" he asked with a smirk and I blushed and threw a pillow at him. He laughed as he batted it away.

"It's a question of public decency! Besides, you all naked with a young lady in the room... people might talk." I yawned, turned to face the wall and shut my eyes. "Wake me when you've decided to behave, okay?"

--

"Elli, you're meeting Fit in ten. Time to wake up!"

"Wstfgl." I grumbled sleepily, not pleased at having been jolted out of a rather strange dream involving a naked Matt and Shane whipping each other with towels. I tried to bury my head under the pillows but was roughly picked up and hauled over Matt's shoulder.

"What… hey!" I protested weakly, attempting a half-hearted struggle.

"Do that again and I'll drop you," Matt threatened. I sighed, too tired to really fight, and looked down at his back.

"I see you finally decided to get dressed," I remarked. "Good. It can't be healthy to go around naked all the time." _Especially not for my subconscious_, I added silently, glad that I was facing his behind as a blush crept over my face. I'd had a massive crush on him back in the Team Xtreme days and seeing him naked reminded me forcefully of that.

"Why've you gone red?" Shane demanded, bounding up like an excited puppy. "Do you like Matt? Hey, Matt, you could be holding your future wife there!"

"Shut up, Shane!" I grumbled, looking around for something heavy to throw at his head. Unfortunately there was nothing within grabbing range so I had to settle for glaring at him.

"Oooh, did I touch a nerve?" asked Shane delightedly, crouching down so his face was inches from mine. I made a spirited attempt to bite his face off but Matt shifted me slightly on his shoulder so that I couldn't reach; I yelped and thumped him on the arm but it had no effect.

"Well, you were both naked in my dream, so what does that say, Shane?" I asked with an evil grin. "Does that mean I subconsciously want you two to spit-roast me?" Matt tensed up and Shane gasped, a comical look of shock and horror on his face.

"You harlot!"

"Harlot or not, she's going to be late for Fit," said Matt quickly, before I could reply. I twisted as much as I could so that I was at least looking at his head, and from what I could see his neck looked a little flushed. I felt extremely pleased with myself and allowed myself a secret smirk. "Ready to go?" he asked, a little stiffly.

"Do I have any choice in the matter?" I asked with a groan.

"Nope."

"You going to let me down?"

"Nope."

"Fine," I sighed, sending Shane a pleading look. He just grinned and waved as Matt carried me out of the room, down the corridor, into the lift and down through the lobby towards the hotel's gym. We got some strange looks and a few people snapped pictures on their phones; no doubt the internet wrestling community would gossip like crazy the next day.

Torrie Wilson and Michelle McCool were still in the gym, idly chatting about this evening's tapings, and they looked up and giggled as we entered.

"There you go. One Diva Search hopeful," said Matt, dumping me unceremoniously at Finlay's feet. I grinned awkwardly at the Irishman as I got to my feet; he was looking impassive. "I'll see you later, Elli. Try not to die." Matt gave me a wink as he left, and I took unconscious step back.

"He was joking, right?" I asked worriedly. Finlay's face split into a grin that held absolutely no humour whatsoever. It was just a tad unsettling and I fidgeted, stretching out my arms and popping my neck nervously.

"This isn't an easy business and I don't plan on going easy on ya," he warned. "Ready?"

"Always," I replied as confidently as I could, and we started going through our warm-up routines.


	4. Not What You'd Call Reality: Part 4

_**Author's note: **Sorry for the wait between updates. Real life decided to get in the way of my writing time and as it is, I'm writing this on the back of about three hours sleep in as many days. Thanks to Farra Sti for reviewing and I hope you enjoy this chapter. _

_A couple of things to note: I will be following some of the actual WWE storylines from October 2007 up until the present as closely as possible, but anything that doesn't fit with my delusional world will be tweaked. As such, Lita hasn't retired, Chris Masters is still oiling up the place, the Signature Pharmacy scandal didn't happen and the Cruiserweight Title is still very much active. How that will all effect what actually happened, I don't know. We'll just have to wait and see, won't we? _

_As always, comments, thoughts and constructive criticism are not only welcomed, but encouraged. Let me know what you think! Xoxo_

_Usual disclaimers apply. _

--

Sweat dripped into my eyes and I hurriedly wiped them with the back of my sleeve. Michelle was still standing, but very dazed, and I applied a front facelock, turning it into a swinging neckbreaker. I covered her and Finlay, who was refereeing, counted one, two… She kicked out at two and a half and I swore loudly and punched her in the head.

"Why won't you just bloody well give up?" I yelled in frustration. Michelle was still down and I dragged her to her feet and over to the corner. I hauled her up onto the top turnbuckle and she appeared to recover, punching me a couple of times. I rolled with the punches like Finlay had taught me, punched her back, pulled her arm across my shoulders and climbed to the top rope, dragging her with me so I could hit the superplex. The move jarred my back a little but it was nothing major, and I covered her for the pin. Finlay counted one, two, three and I jumped to my feet, wincing as my back protested and raised my fist in a victorious salute as pure joy flooded me.

"Okay, that was good, but you got angry again, didn't ya?" asked Finlay as he helped Michelle to her feet. "You always get angry and go straight for a high-risk move. Your opponents are going to figure that out quickly and look to make you angry and try and goad you into making mistakes. I've told ya, you've got to keep a lid on it."

"Yeah, I know, it's not easy though," I said with a wry grin, accepting the criticism with good grace and stifling a yawn as he went through some more points about my performance. The last few days had been intense, way more intense than I was used to. The main focus in XHF was on hardcore matches, which meant that it was perfectly okay to beat someone with sticks until they couldn't get up again. Now I was having to learn a completely different style of wrestling, and learning how to pace myself and when to use rest holds so as not to burn out before the end of the match. To start with I had felt a bit lost, not being allowed any weapons, but I was a fast learner and was picking up the WWE style well, I thought.

The training regime I was on was a tough one. I met Finlay early every morning and we'd go through stretching exercises, weights and cardio before moving to the crash mats and grappling. He taught me so many new moves that my moveset was almost twice what it was when I'd joined the Diva Search. Then we'd head to the arena once the ring had been set up for the night's shows and go through a training match. So far I had wrestled Cherry, Michelle and Torrie and even Finlay himself a couple of times; although I'd beaten the Divas at least once each, I hadn't even come close to pinning the Irishman. He was a hard taskmaster, but I was learning a hell of a lot from him and had nothing but the utmost respect for him.

"Hey guys, are you done yet?" I looked up and grinned at Torrie as she walked over, a bright smile firmly in place. Torrie was always hanging around whenever I was training and we had already become good friends, which I was glad about; lovely as the guys were, being around that much testosterone was bound to be bad for a girl's health.

"Yeah, we're done here," Finlay confirmed, flashing me a rare smile. "You've got great potential, Elli. You just need to get familiar with our style and learn to keep your temper under control and you're there. And, you know, between you and me, even if you don't win the Diva Search I'm going to recommend you to Mr McMahon, see if we can't get you a developmental deal."

"Really?" I said excitedly.

"Yes, really. Like I said, you've got a lot of potential and if you keep working hard, then maybe you could be challenging for the Women's Title in a year."

"You're wonderful, thanks, Fit!" I squealed, giving the Irishman a hug. He grinned awkwardly and rubbed the top of his head.

"Yeah, well, I've still got to cast me eye over your sister and the other girl, so you can scoot. Go off and talk about… shoes, or kittens, or whatever you girls like to talk about."

"Come on, Elli! You're not needed at the house show tonight, right?" Torrie asked and I shook my head. "Great! I've got a couple of bottles of wine in my room. I'll call some of the girls over and we'll make a night of it!" She linked her arm through mine and shepherded me out of the arena.

I had to admit, I'd had a lot of fun travelling with the Smackdown and ECW crew over the last week and a half. What free time I had was spent in the company of Matt, Shane and Shannon Moore, who were amazingly fun and the nicest blokes I'd ever come across. CM Punk was a total sweetheart too and, much to Matt's annoyance, I'd run into Edge when he turned up to discuss his comeback with Vickie Guerrero and managed to befriend him, too.

Being a WWE fan I was well aware of the history between those two, and it amused me no end to hear Matt on one side complaining that Adam Copeland was the devil incarnate who would devour my soul while I slept, and Adam on the other side maintaining that Matt was a whiny little bitch who couldn't let go of the past. However, I liked them both, and neither of them was going to stop me hanging out with the other just because they had issues that they were too pig-headed to work out. In fact, I made it my mission to get them talking to each other again, whatever the cost. Of course, my plan would have to be put on the back-burner for now as Adam wasn't due to return until Survivor Series, but I was patient, I could wait. And in the meantime I could plot with my girls.

An hour later I was showered, changed and waiting in Torrie's room for Maria and Mickie to show up. They were both involved in the supershow, but their match was one of the first and they'd promised to be over as soon as they were done. In the meantime Torrie and I had decided to get cracking on the wine and talk about tomorrow's pay-per-view instead.

"You nervous?" asked Torrie as she handed me a glass. I took a long sip from it and tried to ignore the butterflies that had sprung up in my stomach the moment she'd spoken.

"I am now. Thanks."

"Don't be. All you're going to have to do is turn up, shake your ass and hope you win. It's out of your hands now, babe."

"Yeah, and that makes it worse," I said grimly. "If I had to win a match in order to win my contract then it'd be fine but no, I have to hope that the general public like me enough to vote for me."

"You're forgetting, we also have the right to vote. Shane's been going around threatening people that if they don't vote for you, he'll kick their ass. I think he's fond of you a little bit," she giggled.

"Really? Aww, that's sweet!" I laughed.

"And remember what Finlay said. If you don't win, he's going to try and get you a developmental deal. If you work hard, you'll be called up in no time. I think you'll be fine. You can wrestle, I'm sure you can cut a decent enough promo judging by the way you, Matt and Shane rip pieces off each other, and you've got plenty of people in your corner. Your fellow Diva Search girl could learn a lot from you." I grinned; Carla's only contribution thus far was to insult the other Divas and flirt with anything with gold. Safe to say, she wasn't making a lot of friends backstage. I chuckled as a weird sense of unreality stole over me.

"This is actually happening, isn't it? I have a real chance of becoming a WWE Diva."

"Yeah, you do. I know a lot of people say the Diva Search isn't the best way to join the company, but it's not the worst way either and I think if you or Kit win it, you've got a chance of bringing back some respect to the Diva Search. No offence to Carla, I'm sure she's a nice enough girl, but we really don't need another vapid blonde who's only here to whore herself around the locker room."

"I know, that's your job, isn't it?" I teased and laughed as I ducked the slap she aimed for my head.

"Hey! I do not whore myself around! I just like to tease sometimes, that's all," she pouted. "I was married so, you know, my flirting skills are a little rusty. A girl has to keep her hand in, after all."

"Uh-huh. And the fact that you're constantly 'practising' with a certain Mr Kennedy Kennedy has nothing to do with the fact that you find him insanely attractive, eh?"

"Well... no... I never said he was _insanely attractive_, I just mentioned, once, that he was cute, and I was drunk at the time, so it shouldn't be taken seriously. Anyway, he has a girlfriend. I think, I know they're going through a rough patch and I don't know how it's going, but anyway, he's off-limits." I laughed as she babbled and continued to protest that she wasn't attracted to Ken. Unfortunately, having known Kit for a number of years, I had formed the opinion that the more someone protested, the more likely it was that the opposite was true. There was a knock at the door and I went to answer it, as Torrie was still too busy denying any attraction towards Ken to notice.

"Hey! You started the boy talk without us?" demanded Mickie as she strolled into the room with Maria just behind. Torrie stopped babbling and jumped up to greet her friends with a hug.

"Hey guys, glad you could make it! Have you met Elli yet?"

"Yeah, we met briefly at Unforgiven, hi! Nice to see you again!" said Mickie brightly, squeezing me half to death in a tight hug.

"Glad to see you're still in the competition," said Maria warmly as she hugged me, too. "From what I hear backstage, you'll be working with us soon?"

"I hope so," I replied with a grin. "I'm having a lot of fun here."

"I should think so too, we got the best people," said Mickie. "Of course RAW has the best of the bunch."

"You're only saying that because you're on RAW," Torrie pointed out with a giggle. "Everyone knows Smackdown's the best."

"Nuh-uh, we've got John and Randy, Jeff Hardy, me and Maria... RAW definitely wins in the good-looking stakes. Even the old guys are hot!"

"I'll tell Shawn and Hunter you called them old," I threatened with a grin.

"Pfft, do it, all that will happen is Shawn will sulk and Hunter will flex his muscles and beat the crap out of Randy," Mickie laughed.

"Anyway, we've got pretty people on Smackdown too," said Torrie. "We got Matt... okay so Jeff's the prettier Hardy, but Matt's still hot... we got... uh..." she looked at me for help and I laughed.

"Adam, Shane?" I suggested. "But, you know, Mickie's got a point, RAW does have the hottest guys on the roster. Ken's over there after all."

"Oh shut up!" Torrie muttered as Mickie burst out laughing.

"I like you," Mickie declared, pulling me down next to her on the bed and wrapping her arm around my shoulders. "You're going to fit in well with the rest of us, I can tell. So, tell us all about you. I want to know your dirty little secrets," she added with a grin as she topped up my wine.

It was great fun, hanging out with Maria, Mickie and Torrie. I felt a little shy at first, considering that I was not only sat with three of the sexiest women on television, but that I'd had a massive girl-crush on Maria for what felt like forever. Mickie and Maria were so friendly and welcoming though that I soon warmed up to them and felt like I'd known them forever as we chatted about wrestling, shopping and, most importantly, boys.

"So, Elli, you've been hanging around the company for a couple of months now, any hunks that have caught your eye?" asked Mickie in an all-too casual voice that set alarm bells ringing. She was bound to be plotting something; the fact that Torrie and Maria were smirking knowingly was a tad unsettling, too.

"No, not really... why?" I asked warily.

"I'm just nosy. Come on, there must be someone you like! Or at least find attractive. We've got plenty of attractive guys in the company, there's bound to be someone."

"I haven't really thought about it, I guess," I replied. "I joined the Diva Search for a chance to actually wrestle for the biggest company in the world, not to get off with as many hotties as possible."

"Boring!" Maria snorted. "Anyway, we're not talking action, we're just talking ogling. There's nothing wrong with a bit of window-shopping, right, girls?"

"Well I've already seen Matt naked, what can top that?" I asked, grinning broadly.

"What? When?" shrieked Mickie.

"When I came over to Smackdown, I was hanging with Shane in their hotel room and he came out of the shower. Didn't even try to cover up or anything, the harlot," I laughed.

"Yeah, Matt's a whore," giggled Maria. "You want to watch yourself. He tries hitting on all the Diva Search girls."

"We think it's because everyone in the company already knows him as a super-sweet nice guy so maybe he can trick the new girls into thinking he's hot," said Torrie. "It never works. He's just too much of a nice guy."

"Well, let me tell you, anyone who's not dating him is missing out. Boy's definitely well-hung," I giggled.

"Really?" asked Maria, looking rather interested. I made a mental note for later, resolving to do some digging if I could. She caught me watching her and looked away hurriedly, the faintest of blushes staining her cheeks. Interesting!

"Yep. His next girlfriend's a lucky girl."

"Why don't you be his next girlfriend then?" asked Mickie curiously.

"No way, we get on far too well for anything like that!" I laughed. "I used to have a crush on him way back, and I have no problem with admitting that he's hot, it's just something I'm not ever likely to pursue, you know?"

"Pfft! That's no fun!" Mickie sulked.

"Yeah, well, I don't really do relationships, you know?"

"Bad boyfriend?" asked Torrie sympathetically and I nodded. That was putting it mildly. "Well, let me give you a piece of advice. If you're crushing on someone, do NOT tell these two because they will move heaven and earth to get you together. They're a nightmare, I swear."

"We're not that bad!" Maria protested as Mickie burst out laughing.

"What can I say? I like helping people to be happy, even if it's just for ten minutes."

"A whole ten minutes?" I gasped, affecting a look of wonder. "Where do you find these magical men?"

"I've got a list..." Mickie began, taking her phone out and beginning to scroll through her phone book.

"Put it away," laughed Torrie, slapping Mickie's hand down. "You don't want to scar the new girl before she's even started with the company."

"I'm not scarred, just incredibly entertained," I said with a grin. "You girls are nuts. I like you."

"Yay!" Mickie squealed and hugged me tightly around the waist. "Does this mean I can get you drunk and grope you inappropriately in front of the guys?"

"Do you even have to ask?" I giggled.

"Yay, I have a new pet! And... oh... someone's ringing." She smiled softly as she checked the caller ID and answered the phone with an insult before hopping off the bed and disappearing into the bathroom to take the call. Maria and Torrie grinned knowingly at each other.

"That'll be John then," said Maria. "I swear we should just lock them in a room and refuse to let them out until they agree to start dating."

"Oh, we'd be there forever, you know how stubborn they can be," said Torrie. "Mickie and John have been flirting with each other for something like three years now," she explained. "Occasionally they'll get drunk and make out but nothing ever comes of it because they're both too stubborn to admit that they really like each other, you know?"

"That sounds familiar," I snorted, thinking of Kit and how it always took forever for her to admit to liking someone.

"Yeah, well, if they don't do anything soon I'm going to... I don't know... jab them with sewing needles or something," muttered Maria. "I love Mickie, and I love John, but having them both whining about how they really like each other but don't want to ruin their friendship or whatever really drives me nuts sometimes. You're lucky you're on Smackdown, you don't get any of this!" she grumbled to Torrie.

"Any of what?" asked Mickie as she came back out of the bathroom. "John just called. He's ordered us down to the bar. Said if we don't get our asses down there in ten minutes he's going to send 'the boys' round." She made sarcastic quote marks with her fingers and rolled her eyes. "As if we'd be scared of Randy anyway."

"Randy's more than one person now?" laughed Torrie. "I mean, I know his ego is so vast it's almost got it's own presence, but..."

We gathered up our purses, left the hotel room and headed towards the lifts, laughing and joking about John and Randy. We were just about to head through the double doors at the end of the corridor when I heard my name being called. I turned to see who it was and groaned as John Morrison sauntered up.

"Hey Elli... it is Elli, isn't it?" he said, flashing me a perfect smile. I was almost dazzled by the brightness of his teeth. "I almost didn't recognise you in clothes."

"Oh, shut up!" I groaned, feeling my face start to burn. "I'm not normally in the habit of running around half naked. That was Paul's fault."

"Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed about. If you've got it, flaunt it and from what I saw, you've definitely got it." He winked at me and I flushed again, inwardly cringing and hoping that he'd either get to the point or walk away.

"Is that why you're always wandering around topless, because you think you've got it?" I teased, gesturing at his open shirt, deciding to fall back on gentle insults in the place of having anything of substance to say. He grinned.

"I -know- I've got it. So where are you lovely ladies off to?"

"Out, hopefully somewhere far away from you," Mickie spat, and I started slightly at the venom in her voice; she and Maria were glaring at Morrison with open hostility. He looked a little put out at the interruption for a moment, and then shrugged off the comment.

"I was just making conversation."

"And now we're ending it, bye!" said Mickie brightly, grabbing hold of me and shepherding me through the door before either of us could say another word. I glanced back at Morrison as Mickie jabbed the button for the lift, all the while muttering under her breath; he was stood with his arms folded, watching us, the expression on his face unreadable. I shivered slightly, although I wasn't sure why, and followed the girls into the lift.

"Ugh, he's a total sleaze!" Mickie grumbled once the lift doors had slid shut behind us. "Trust me, Elli, you do not want to get mixed up with him. I had enough of his bullshit when he was with Melina and ugh, he loves himself. I don't think there's anyone more annoying, arrogant and downright hittable in the company."

"I don't know, Chris Masters could give him a run for his money, now there's a man that needs to learn that 'no' means 'no'," said Maria with a grimace. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight. "You stick with us, Elli. We'll keep the undesirables away from you."

"Yay, I have protection," I giggled and fell silent as the girls started discussing the less reputable men on the roster. I had to admit, Mickie's little rant had me rather intrigued. I wasn't one for listening to what other people had to say about people, and part of me couldn't help but wonder if Morrison really was as bad as she said. I brushed the thought aside for the moment and joined in with the conversation. If I won the Diva Search, I'd have plenty of time to find out for myself.

Moments later we had settled at a table in the hotel bar and had ordered John to go get us some drinks. It was a large room with tables and chairs scattered around the bar, and a raised area off to one side where a few people were already drunkenly gyrating in time to the music, which was some cheesy 80s rock ballad. People from all three brands were milling around and I waved at Matt and Jeff as they wandered past on their way to the bar and jumped as Ken Kennedy appeared from out of nowhere.

"Hey, Elli," he greeted with a grin, grabbing a chair from the next table over and sitting in between me and Torrie. "How's my favourite Diva Search girl? I've been voting for you, by the way. You better buy me a drink."

"Hey, I told y'all to vote for Kit!" John complained as he reappeared with a tray of drinks in his hand and Randy lurking just behind him.

"Yeah and since when did we ever do anything that you tell us to, Cena?" huffed Randy, poking his best friend in the shoulder. "I'm the champ. People do as I say."

"Yeah, you wish, Orton!" scoffed Ken. "All you ever say is 'blah, blah Champ blah, blah die Cena blah, blah boring blah'."

"How about 'blah, blah, bite me'?" Randy retorted.

"If you insist." Randy roared with pain as Ken bit down hard on his forearm. He hit the Green Bay loudmouth over the head, and in the ensuing struggle John was almost knocked flying.

"Hey, watch it you assholes, I nearly spilt my drink!" he said angrily.

"He started it!" Ken and Randy chorused, and glared at each other.

"Yeah well, I'm off to Smackdown soon so at least I won't have to deal with him any longer," muttered Ken, digging Randy in the ribs. He grinned at me. "So if you win the Diva Search you better get your ass on Smackdown, you hear?"

"No way, man, she's staying on RAW with us!" said Randy, clapping me on the shoulder. Ken got to his feet and he and Randy started squabbling with each other; John tried to intervene and got hit for his troubles.

"Guys! I've got to win the bloody thing first, we can fight about where I'll end up afterwards, yeah?" I said weakly, feeling another rush of nerves as I thought about the final tomorrow. I didn't want to think about it. Thinking about it made me feel sick... I took a large gulp of my drink and looked around for a distraction, which duly arrived in the form of the Hardys and my sister. Kit grinned as she slid into Ken's vacated seat, while Matt and Jeff watched the fight with interest.

"All right, guys, break it up!" said Jeff loudly, clapping his hands for attention. They ignored him and he sighed. "Randy, Candice was looking for you."

"Really?" Randy let go of John and preened. "I'll be right back." He straightened out his shirt and wandered off in search of the brunette. John and Ken eyeballed each other for a moment before John sat down and Ken snorted and turned to talk to Matt.

"You do realise there'll be hell to pay when he realises Candi wasn't actually looking for him, right?" laughed Kit. Jeff grinned.

"Yeah, but it was either that or watching them fight like children. Again. Someone's got to keep them in check, you know? I swear, sometimes I feel like their father." He laughed. "I can't be their father. I'm too pretty. And way too young... in fact, in order to be John's father I'd have to give birth to him four months before I was born... whoa!" He blinked rapidly and shook his head. "Not thinking about it. Thinking about it makes my head hurt."

"Aww, poor Jeff's head," soothed Kit, stroking his hair. Jeff smiled, closed his eyes lazily and leaned in to her touch. I couldn't help but grin at the exchange. It was so cute! Mickie nudged me with her foot from across the table and grinned.

"They've been like that all week," she confided. "I'm willing to bet that if she ends up on the main roster, they'll get it together."

"I don't know, she can be stubborn," I said, watching Kit and Jeff closely. They were most definitely flirting; Kit was twirling her cocktail stirrer around her mouth and Jeff was trying very hard not to notice. "I say we get her to dance and see what happens. She dances way too sexy for her own good."

"You're on! I'll talk to the DJ," said Mickie, giggling manically as she disappeared.

"Hey, I see little Jeffrey Nero has some attention, how about some love for his far more handsome brother?" I grinned up at Matt as he leaned on the back of my chair.

"Handsome? You look like you belong in a slasher movie," I teased, poking at his head; he'd had to receive stitches after catching a nasty whack from Rey Mysterio's knee brace during the Smackdown tapings this week, and was still looking pretty beaten up.

"I thought the ladies all loved a war wound?" he asked with a pout. I laughed and patted his cheek.

"Maybe they do. If I see a lady I'll be sure to ask her."

"Bah. You're no fun," he teased, biffing me over the head. I grinned at him – and laughed as I recognised the next song on the playlist. Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard. I caught Kit's eye and we both smirked as she nodded her head towards the dance floor. This was one of our favourite songs to dance to. She took hold of my hand and led me to the raised area, and we both laughed as we noticed half the roster watching us curiously.

"Ready to make a lot of men feel very uncomfortable?" she asked with a devilish grin.

"As always," I giggled, draping my hands lightly around her neck as we started swaying our hips in time to the music.


End file.
